Miles Away From Ordinary

If you need me, I’ll be in Mexico doing my best to imitate a Corona commercial. Be back Thursday.

Mark Ronson ft Lily Allen - Oh My God

UPDATE: Apparently, RCA doesn’t allow embedding. Here’s the video.

I’ve been obsessed to this song lately. Thanks Joseph! Though.. I would preferred a non-animated Lily Allen for the video.

Protected: Unintentional Trial Comedy

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Grr.

Is is Saturday yet? I might strangle myself if this week doesn’t start moving along at a faster pace..

Pac-10 Sucks, Reason #435

Here’s Arizona State’s official policy on tailgating:

Can I tailgate before a home football game?

Yes. The President has authorized tailgating to occur in the University’s parking lots and structures 3 ½ hours preceding home football games. The consumption of beer and wine is permitted but under Arizona law, the consumption of liquor is not authorized. Beer and wine cannot be taken into Sun Devil Stadium nor can they be consumed in the parking lots/structures once the game commences.

So no, you will not be able to consume a Jack & Coke at 9am under your red Georgia tailgating tent. According to AStateBigJon, here are the reasons behind the madness: It’s too hot (lame), there’s no shade in the parking lot (uhm..) and the people suck (ok, it all makes sense now). With a 5 o’clock kickoff time, there’s only one thing to do: tailgate by the pool.

It’s Not Mexican Independence Day.

I’m surprised Cinco de Mayo didn’t top today’s list of Stuff White People Like.

Trial Week

In the “things that are too logical for people to fathom” file, you can add: calling cases in the order they’re on the calendar. Oh no, see.. that makes too much sense.

Is there a drought in Brooklyn?

In the opposite vein, here’s a post I love (mostly for the comments).

You gotta wonder what lead up to the creation of this sign at a Dunkin Donuts in Bushwick (a DMZ-esque area of Brooklyn being penetrated by the forces of gentrification) covering every possible angle of not giving you a cup of ice water.

Interesting comments on whether restaurants (used loosely here) are legal obligated to provide water, whether that’s some communist hippy bullshit and how much it really costs to provide “free” water. But here’s the best comment:

Reminds me of a weird Waffle House policy which excluded patty melts from the Tuesday All You Can Eat night (which, thinking back on it, was not the best idea I ever had anyway). No one could explain why, so we would try to order it anyway.

Q:”Could I get a cheeseburger with grilled onions, but can you bring it out open-faced?”
A:”Sir, that would be a patty melt, so no.”

Q:”Can I get a cheeseburger plain, but with grilled onions, on toast? But only the one piece of toast?”
A:”Okay, so cheesburger on toast . . . wait a second. No. That’s a patty melt.”

Posts That Pissed Me Off

ADDED:The Real “Age Issue” | contention - WTF? Do I give a shit that Obama declined coffee and asked for orange juice? Elitism? Really? Personally, choosing Florida oranges over Columbia’s coffee might be the patriotic move. h/t Tondee’s

Georgia Sports Blog | The BCS Owns You - BCS rejects a plus one system and by BCS, I mean.. everyone but the SEC and ACC. I hope Georgia and tOSU play in the Championship Game and the SEC once again kicks their ass.

Ashes to Glass | Why I had to Hit a Cop today - Why do men feel like they can just grab women’s legs? Oooh, it’s like you’ve never seen a tattoo before.

Indefensible | Worth Watching… - Video of Alan Shore arguing to the Supreme Court about the pending Louisiana Death Penalty case. I’ve reposted it below:

Cards

I love sending cards to people when they least expect it. You’re at work, at home and BOOM there’s a funny card to greet you. It’s unexpected and cheers you up. But I hate being forced into buying a card because most cards suck. So when I find a good card, I buy it and save it. I bought 6 cards tonight. Laugh-out-loud funny. Unfortunately, they were mostly birthday cards and no one has a birthday coming up. Boo!